Would You Rather
Also known as: This or That, Either Or Questions, Would You Prefer, Choose Your Pick
A decision-making icebreaker where participants choose between two options, revealing preferences and sparking engaging conversations about values and priorities.
Quick Overview
Introduction
Would You Rather is a simple yet powerful icebreaker that presents participants with two choices, forcing them to pick one option over another. Each question creates a mini-dilemma that reveals personal preferences, values, and decision-making styles. The game works by posing scenarios like "Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?" and having participants explain their reasoning, which naturally leads to deeper conversations and mutual understanding.
Key Features
- No materials needed - just questions and willing participants
- Easily scalable from small teams to large conferences of 100+ people
- Adaptable difficulty from lighthearted fun to meaningful value exploration
Ideal For
Would You Rather is perfect for new team formations, first-day orientations, virtual meetings that need energy, and training sessions requiring a quick warmup. It works exceptionally well when you need people to share opinions in a low-stakes environment, making it ideal for groups where members don't yet feel comfortable with open-ended sharing.
What Makes It Unique
Unlike traditional icebreakers where participants simply share facts, Would You Rather creates authentic decision-making moments that reveal personality and values. The binary choice structure removes the paralysis of open-ended questions while the explanation phase builds genuine connection.
Game Video
How to Play
Preparation
5 minutes- 1Prepare 8-12 Would You Rather questions tailored to your group's context and comfort level. Mix lighthearted questions with ones that reveal values or work preferences.
- 2Decide on your format: Will people answer verbally, move to different sides of the room, or use virtual tools like polls or breakout rooms?
- 3If playing in person with a large group, ensure there's enough space for people to physically move if you're using that method.
- 4For virtual sessions, test any polling or chat features you plan to use, and have questions ready in a document you can easily copy-paste.
- 5Set expectations: Remind participants that all choices are valid, and the goal is to learn about each other, not to judge.
Game Flow
15-25 minutes- 1Introduce the game briefly: "We're going to play Would You Rather. I'll give you two options, and you have to pick one—no saying 'both' or 'neither.' Then we'll hear your reasoning."
- 2Start with a lighthearted, easy question to set a fun tone. Example: "Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?"
- 3Give participants 10-15 seconds to decide silently, then reveal their choices (raise hands, move to different sides, vote in poll, etc.).
- 4Ask 2-3 people from each side to briefly explain their reasoning (15-30 seconds each). For groups larger than 20, use breakout discussions instead of full-group sharing.
- 5Acknowledge interesting points or surprising reasoning without judgment. Keep the pace moving—aim for 2-3 minutes per question.
- 6Progress from lighthearted to slightly deeper questions as the group warms up. Notice the energy and adjust difficulty accordingly.
- 7For the final 1-2 questions, choose ones that subtly connect to your meeting's purpose (work style preferences for team building, learning preferences for training, etc.).
Wrap Up
3 minutes- 1Thank everyone for participating and acknowledge the range of perspectives shared.
- 2Optionally, ask: "What's one surprising thing you learned about someone?" to reinforce memory and connection.
- 3Bridge to your next activity: "Now that we know each other a bit better, let's dive into..." This helps transition while maintaining the energy.
- 4For ongoing teams, consider creating a running list of memorable answers to reference in future meetings as inside jokes.
Host Script
Questions & Examples
Lighthearted & Fun
- •Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
- •Would you rather have to sing everything you say or dance everywhere you go?
- •Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early?
- •Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button for your life?
- •Would you rather speak all languages fluently or be able to talk to animals?
Work & Career Values
- •Would you rather work from a beach or a mountain cabin?
- •Would you rather have a job with flexible hours or a job with high job security?
- •Would you rather be great at presenting ideas or great at executing them?
- •Would you rather work on one big project for a year or many small projects?
- •Would you rather have a boss who gives lots of feedback or one who gives you autonomy?
- •Would you rather be the most skilled person on a struggling team or the least skilled on a successful team?
Personal Preferences & Lifestyle
- •Would you rather live in a city or the countryside?
- •Would you rather never have to sleep or never have to eat?
- •Would you rather always know the truth or remain blissfully ignorant?
- •Would you rather be able to see 10 years into your future or change one event from your past?
- •Would you rather spend a day with your favorite historical figure or your favorite fictional character?
Team Building & Work Style
- •Would you rather work independently with occasional check-ins or collaborate closely with a team all day?
- •Would you rather receive recognition publicly or privately?
- •Would you rather have a very detailed process or the flexibility to improvise?
- •Would you rather brainstorm ideas or refine existing ones?
- •Would you rather work in complete silence or with background music/noise?
- •Would you rather give a presentation to 500 people or have 50 one-on-one conversations?
Virtual Version (for Zoom/Teams)
Would You Rather adapts seamlessly to virtual settings and often works even better than in-person due to built-in polling features and chat anonymity reducing pressure.
- •Use Zoom polls, Slido, or Mentimeter for quick voting, then unmute 2-3 people from each side to share reasoning. This maintains pace and prevents crosstalk.
- •For smaller groups (under 15), use the chat function for everyone to type their choice and brief reasoning simultaneously, then discuss. This ensures everyone participates, not just vocal members.
- •Create virtual 'breakout rooms by choice'—send all A-choosers to rooms 1-2 and B-choosers to rooms 3-4 for 2-minute discussions, then return for full-group debrief.
- •Use the 'raise hand' feature as a low-tech voting method, taking screenshots to remember who chose what before discussing.
- •For asynchronous teams, post one question daily in Slack/Teams with a poll, encouraging people to comment with their reasoning throughout the day.
Tips & Variations
Pro Tips
- ✓Start super easy and gradually increase depth. If you lead with heavy questions, people shut down. Build psychological safety with silliness first.
- ✓Watch for dominant voices and intentionally call on quieter participants: 'I'd love to hear from someone who hasn't shared yet—what made you choose that option?'
- ✓When someone gives an interesting answer, connect it to another person: 'That's funny, Sarah, because I think you chose the opposite—what made you go that direction?' This builds cross-person connection.
- ✓Time-box discussions strictly. It's better to complete 5 questions energetically than drag through 3. Set a timer for 2-3 minutes per question and move on.
- ✓End on a work-relevant question that subtly introduces your meeting topic. This creates a smooth transition and makes the activity feel purposeful, not just filler.
Variations
This or That Speed Round
Rapid-fire version with 15-20 quick questions in 5 minutes. No explaining—just fast choices (coffee or tea? beach or mountains? morning or night?). Great for high energy or when short on time. Reveals patterns without requiring vulnerability.
Would You Rather Debates
After initial voting, assign one person from each side to give a 60-second 'argument' for their position, then allow one rebuttal. Others can switch sides if convinced. Adds playful competition and deeper thinking. Works well with groups that already know each other.
Create Your Own
After playing 3-4 facilitator questions, have participants create their own Would You Rather questions in small groups, then share with the full group. This increases ownership and often generates hilarious, creative scenarios. Best for groups that will meet repeatedly.
Common Pitfalls
- ✗Making questions too similar or obvious. If 90% choose one option, there's no discussion. Aim for 60/40 or 70/30 splits by including genuine trade-offs.
- ✗Allowing 'both,' 'neither,' or 'it depends' answers. The forced choice is what creates engagement. Politely insist: 'I know it's tough, but you have to pick one!'
- ✗Letting discussions drag too long. Watch for energy drops and cut conversations before they become tedious. It's okay to say, 'Great points—let's keep moving!'
- ✗Using questions that are too personal or controversial early on. Avoid politics, religion, or deeply personal topics unless you're absolutely certain of group dynamics and safety.
Safety & Inclusivity Notes
- •Always emphasize that all choices are valid and there's no judgment. Some people feel anxious about being "wrong," so explicitly state that personal preference can't be incorrect.
- •Avoid questions touching politics, religion, sensitive health topics, or anything that could marginalize someone. What seems lighthearted to you might be painful for someone with different experiences.
- •Give participants the option to pass without penalty or explanation. Say at the start: 'If any question doesn't feel right to you, just say pass—no explanation needed.'
- •Be mindful of cultural differences in sharing norms. Some cultures view public preference-sharing as impolite or risky. In diverse groups, consider starting with partner sharing before full-group discussion.
- •Watch body language for discomfort. If someone looks distressed, check in privately during a break rather than putting them on the spot.
Why This Game Works
Would You Rather leverages fundamental cognitive and social psychology principles to create engagement. The forced-choice format activates decision-making neural pathways, while the explanation phase triggers social bonding mechanisms. Research shows that sharing personal preferences and reasoning creates interpersonal closeness more effectively than biographical fact-sharing.
Psychological Principles
Self-Disclosure Reciprocity
Altman & Taylor
Social Penetration Theory suggests that relationships develop through gradual and reciprocal self-disclosure. When one person shares something personal, others feel comfortable doing the same, creating a cycle of increasing openness and trust.
Application in Game
Would You Rather creates a structured environment for reciprocal disclosure. When participants explain their choices, they reveal values and preferences. Because everyone must answer, the reciprocity happens naturally, breaking down initial barriers and building rapport across the group.
Cognitive Engagement Through Choice
Schwartz
The Psychology of Choice demonstrates that making decisions activates deeper cognitive processing than passive listening. When faced with options, our brains engage in mental simulation, evaluating outcomes and connecting choices to personal values and past experiences.
Application in Game
Each Would You Rather question forces active cognitive engagement. Participants can't zone out because they must make a choice, evaluate trade-offs, and articulate reasoning. This mental activation increases memory retention of the interaction and the people involved.
Similarity-Attraction Effect
Byrne
Research consistently shows that perceived similarity increases interpersonal attraction and liking. When people discover they share attitudes, values, or preferences, they feel more connected and are more likely to develop positive relationships.
Application in Game
Would You Rather makes preference similarities immediately visible. When participants discover they made the same choice, they experience instant connection. Even different choices spark interest, as people are curious about alternative perspectives, creating engagement either way.
Psychological Safety Through Structure
Edmondson
Psychological safety—the belief that one won't be punished for speaking up—is critical for team effectiveness. Structured activities with clear boundaries create safer environments for sharing than completely open-ended discussions.
Application in Game
The binary format of Would You Rather provides a safety structure. There's no "wrong" answer, reducing fear of judgment. The limited scope of each question feels less exposing than open sharing, yet still builds connection through preference revelation.
Scientific Evidence
A study of workplace team-building activities found that structured choice-based icebreakers increased interpersonal trust scores by 28% compared to biographical introduction methods, with effects lasting beyond the immediate session.
Research on conversation starters demonstrated that preference-revealing questions generated 34% more follow-up dialogue than factual questions, with participants rating the conversations as significantly more enjoyable and meaningful.
A meta-analysis of icebreaker effectiveness found that activities requiring participants to make and explain choices showed 31% higher engagement rates than activities involving simple fact-sharing, measured through participation levels and self-reported interest.
Measurable Outcomes
Measured by active speaking time and self-reported interest ratings on 7-point scale
Timeframe: During 20-minute activity sessions
Assessed using the Organizational Trust Inventory (OTI) pre and post-activity
Timeframe: Immediately following activity
Tracked through observation of spontaneous conversations in 30-minute post-activity period
Timeframe: 30 minutes post-activity
Name and detail recall tested 48 hours after initial meeting
Timeframe: 48 hours post-activity
Success Stories
Breaking the Ice at a Tech Startup's Remote Onboarding
Background
A fast-growing SaaS startup with 45 employees was struggling with remote onboarding. New hires reported feeling disconnected during their first week, with 67% saying they didn't feel they knew their teammates even after orientation. The company ran weekly virtual onboarding sessions with 4-6 new employees at a time.
Challenge
Traditional video introductions felt stilted and formal. New hires would state their name, role, and previous company, but conversations didn't flow naturally afterward. The HR team noticed that new employees were taking longer to ask questions in team channels and seemed hesitant to reach out to colleagues for help.
Solution
The HR manager introduced Would You Rather as the opening activity for each onboarding session. She prepared 10 questions ranging from lighthearted ("Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early?") to work-related ("Would you rather work from a beach or a mountain cabin?"). Each new hire answered 2-3 questions, with existing team members participating as well. Sessions ran for 15 minutes.
Results
Within three weeks, new hire satisfaction scores increased from 6.2 to 8.4 out of 10. More importantly, 82% of new employees reported having a casual conversation with a colleague outside of structured meetings within their first week, compared to 31% previously. The time to first question in team channels decreased from an average of 8 days to 3 days. One new hire commented, "I remembered Sarah chose working from a mountain cabin, so I felt comfortable reaching out to her about remote work tools."
Energizing a Stale Training Workshop
Background
A healthcare organization was running mandatory compliance training workshops for 120 nurses across multiple shifts. The training coordinator noticed that afternoon sessions suffered from low energy, with participants struggling to stay engaged during the 4-hour workshops. Feedback forms consistently mentioned that the sessions felt "impersonal" and "boring."
Challenge
Nurses came from different departments and shifts, so many didn't know each other. Starting the training with dry content immediately set a passive tone. By hour two, participants were visibly disengaged, and post-training assessment scores were 18% lower in afternoon sessions compared to morning ones.
Solution
The training coordinator introduced Would You Rather as a 10-minute energizer after the first hour break. She used healthcare-related questions like "Would you rather work only night shifts with higher pay or only day shifts with weekends off?" and mixed in fun questions. Participants moved to different sides of the room based on their choice, then discussed in small groups for 3 minutes before sharing reasoning with the full group.
Results
Post-training assessment scores in afternoon sessions improved by 23%, nearly matching morning performance. More significantly, participant feedback shifted dramatically. Comments like "felt connected to colleagues" increased from 12% to 67% of responses. The training coordinator noted that the brief movement and discussion served as a "mental reset," with participants noticeably more engaged in the content that followed. The organization adopted the activity for all training programs.
Building Connection in a Merger Integration
Background
When a mid-size financial services company acquired a smaller competitor, they needed to integrate two teams that would be working closely together. The combined 52-person department had to collaborate on shared accounts, but the two groups maintained separate social circles and showed hesitancy in cross-team communication.
Challenge
The integration lead noticed that in mixed meetings, people clustered with colleagues from their original company. There was no overt hostility, but collaboration was formal and limited. Emails had a stiff tone, and people weren't building the informal relationships necessary for smooth workflow and knowledge sharing.
Solution
The integration lead ran weekly "coffee chat" sessions for six weeks, mandatory for all department members, with rotating groups of 8-10 people from both legacy companies. Each session started with 15 minutes of Would You Rather, using questions that revealed work styles and values ("Would you rather have a highly detailed process or flexibility to improvise?"). The facilitator specifically drew out how choices reflected different company cultures, normalizing differences.
Results
By week four, cross-team Slack messages increased by 156%. More telling, the tone shifted from formal to casual, with GIFs and friendly banter appearing. A survey at week eight showed that 73% of employees had formed at least one friendship with someone from the other legacy company. Project timelines improved by 12% as people felt comfortable asking quick questions instead of formal email chains. The CFO noted that the department reached full integration productivity two months ahead of projections.
What Users Say
"I was skeptical about Would You Rather being anything more than a silly game, but it completely changed how our remote team connects. People actually remember details about each other now, and I see inside jokes in our Slack channels that started from someone's answer about pineapple on pizza. It's the small stuff that makes teams work."
Marcus Chen
Engineering Manager
Use Case: Remote team building for distributed engineering team
"We use Would You Rather at the start of every workshop, and it's transformed the energy in the room. Participants who were sitting silently with arms crossed are laughing and debating whether they'd fight one horse-sized duck within five minutes. It breaks down walls faster than any introduction exercise we've tried, and the content delivery goes so much smoother when people are already engaged."
Dr. Jennifer Watkins
Leadership Development Facilitator
Use Case: Opening activity for leadership training workshops
"As a college professor teaching intro courses with 80+ students, Would You Rather has become my go-to first-week activity. Students actually show up to the second class because they had fun and met people. I've had students tell me they formed study groups based on finding out someone else would also rather work in a coffee shop than the library. It's such a simple tool but genuinely helps build classroom community."
Prof. Aisha Patel
Associate Professor of Psychology
Use Case: First-week classroom icebreaker for large lecture courses
"We incorporated Would You Rather into our client kickoff meetings, and it's become a signature part of our process. Clients tell us they appreciate that we care about relationship-building, not just deliverables. The questions reveal how clients make decisions and what they value, which actually helps us serve them better. Plus, it makes the meetings way more enjoyable for everyone involved."
Ryan O'Sullivan
Client Success Director
Use Case: Client onboarding and relationship development
Frequently Asked Questions
Gently but firmly insist on a choice: 'I know it's tough, but that's what makes it interesting! If you absolutely had to pick one, which way are you leaning?' The forced choice is what creates the cognitive engagement that makes the activity valuable. If someone seems genuinely distressed, let them pass, but most people just need a gentle push.
Set clear time expectations upfront: 'We'll spend about 2 minutes on each question.' Use a visible timer and don't be afraid to politely cut off: 'These are all great points—let's capture that energy and move to the next one.' It's better to end with people wanting more than to bore them with overly long discussions.
Absolutely, but modify the format. Use polling technology for voting, then select just 2-3 people to share reasoning rather than trying to hear from everyone. Alternatively, after voting, break into small groups of 6-8 for 3-minute discussions, then return to full group for brief highlights. The key is maintaining pace and energy.
Start by sharing your own reasoning first to model vulnerability: 'I chose flying because I hate traffic—it would save me an hour a day!' Then specifically invite one person: 'Alex, I'm curious what you chose?' rather than asking the void. Once one person shares, others typically follow. If the group is very reserved, switch to pair sharing before asking for volunteers to share with everyone.
For professional contexts, lean toward work style preferences and light personal questions that reveal character without being invasive. Avoid anything about appearance, money, or intimate relationships. For casual settings, you can be sillier and more absurd. When in doubt, test questions on a colleague first and ask, 'Would you feel comfortable answering this in front of your team?'